Did you know that in the US over 4 billion dollars are spent on candy and flowers every Valentine’s Day? It’s considered the day of love and we celebrate it by exchanging lavish gifts and enjoying sumptuous meals.
As the day of love approaches, we are reminded to share and breathe in love from those around us, but we should not squarely focus our expression of love on one singular day. In its purest form, Valentine’s Day should be manifested and articulated year round.
As a therapist that offers marriage and couples counseling in Riverview, Florida, there are often many complicated layers that can impact the success of relationships. To overcome those difficult layers I tell couples to establish a vision for how they love. It’s not uncommon to have goals for your career, business or education, but what is your goal for your relationship? Do you desire more intimacy, communication or honesty? I have learned it is just as important to identify a blue print for your relationship as it is to select the best blue print for the home where you plan to spend your life.
Finding a balance within your relationship is key. The extravagant romantic gestures we see on Valentine’s Day are powerful and they are an important facet to building a mutually satisfying relationship; but avoid the temptation to evaluate your relationship on that facet alone. Romantic proposals and bath tubs cascaded with candles are delightful, but remember to embrace the authenticity of unconditional love, consistently. Unconditional love provides comfort in times of brokenness, sacrificial commitment and unyielding support when all of the fanfare is gone.
Seek simplistic expressions of love like picking up your spouse’s dry cleaning, getting their favorite brand of ice cream or watching the movie you’ve seen a thousand times because it brings them joy. I have a friend whose husband charges her phone for her every night. For her, it’s a reminder that she is loved and cared for.
Sometimes it’s the smallest things that minister great love.
For married couples, take a look at my previous blog post, How to Spice up Date Night in 2017? (www.RevolutionaryChange.org). It gave practical ways to recapture the excitement of spending a night out with the one you love.
For those who are single, there is nothing more exhilarating than spending the night out with your friends and discovering the things that you enjoy about being you. Remember to pamper yourself and do the things that bring you joy. Get back to loving yourself first.
Finally, your relationship does not need to be defined by the standards of others. Create real #RelationshipGoals that are a perfect fit for your life. Whatever speaks to your relationship is what you should activate. Be authentic as a couple which will allow you to successfully achieve your #RelationshipGoals.
Don’t let the pressure of Valentine’s Day steal the beauty of what it represents. Remember love is a verb with daily action. Make the act of love count each and every day. Happy Valentine’s Day!
~Shaana Wilson, LMHC, Founder of Revolutionary Change Counseling
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